The weekend 30/31

Before I post up my facts and quotes I just wanted to say 'how the hell did we get to the end of January already'. I can truly say it has not been a great month for me - in fact it is pretty awful. And I think things are only going to get worse but I am sure there will be an end to it all - somehow. At the moment I bounce between worse possible scenario eg losing home and just about everything (which ain't such a lot) and then bouncing back to hoping that we can be saved somehow and hold on to our home. Of course I know that in this country being a white, British working person (apart from an MP who claim anything, get caught, appeal and it is all OK again!) isn't such a good thing in terms of being helped (and I am sorry if that is prejudice and ignorant but hey that is how it feels) but I just hope we can be astute enough to understand and play the system and hope we come out the other end relatively unscathed. At this moment I think the odds of this happening are pretty low.

I realise that a lot of this is our fault, (although I am in the terrible position of not actually knowing the debt my husband was running up). Well I knew some of it but not the terrible truth. But the truth is if the recession and constant stream of cheap immigrant labour hadn't happened we would have been able to pay our bills. And then of course my husband's health has failed and hey, well basically we're screwed. But I guess we are what the Victorians would have called feckless, and useless and destined for the workhouse - not sure what 21st century workhouse equivalent is but think I am going to find out.

Anyway sorry but I think today I just needed to rant. I guess I can't really talk to anyone how I feel about it. I am angry and frightened and I feel stupid and I guilty - like I deserve this and I can't talk to 'him' as he just wont dealt with it or talk about it. I am not sure where this leads us but not in a good place I guess. So my blog gets it -warts and all.

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On the 30th January 1965 former Prime Minister and World Leader, Sir Winston Churchill, was given a state funeral.

I think I vaguely remember this - it was a big deal on the TV and I remember sitting and watching bits with my family. I would have been nearly 4 years old so I guess it could be a real memory.

He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has.

God I hope this is true although I don't feel very 'rich' of soul at the moment.

Feeling old

Boy has discovered Facebook - and enjoying talking to his mates on it - and a girl whose initials are written on his rubber???? Anyway he asked me today what does 'kwel' mean? I didn't have a clue and neither did him. I desperately tried to work it out, something beginning with kiss or kick - huh, but nothing came to mind. I began to think about swalk and norwich and hoped that wasn't it.

What does 'kwel' mean - you probably know but it means 'cool' yes 'cool' so one perfectly good four letter word with a pretty unambigious meaning is replaced with another slightly confusing four letter word. Why??

Most of the text type speak I hate - l8r, lol, etc - I do occasionally use IMHO which is really old fashioned but when my younger mates, or friends kids send me messages I can't read I just get frustrated and angry. For god sake we have predicted text use the full word and hey, how about some punctuation - it's great and makes us all take a breath.

Sometimes being dyslexic makes words confusing enough but this language, well it alienates me and I hate that.

So you see I am just old and grumpy and just not happening and down with it (or some such thing).

27th & 28th

On the 27th January 1606 the trial of the Gunpowder plot conspirators began.

Um, this made me think of the latest debacle with this Iraq enquiry. Cases take ages to come to court and then the outcome has already been decided long before the case is heard. Poor old Guy Fawkes was made a bit of a scape goat so history would tell us whereas our politician come out of shit smelling of roses. Or so we should believe.

Gratitude is the best attitude.

Trouble is sometimes people can just be too grateful, too bloody humble so that whatever they are thanking for just makes you want to punch them!

Today in 1813 Jane Austin's novel Pride and Prejudice was first published.

I am not a great fan of this or many of these classic novel - don't mind a bit of Jane Eyre but mainly I find them well 'mindless and boring' but I know others love them. I like things a bit newer. I love Rebecca. It was really sad to hear that JD Salinger died today. Something about 'Catcher' will stay with me forever. Also the suggested link between Salinger's book and possible conspiracy theories has always greatly interested me.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Ok, I admit, I am going through hell at the moment and quite frankly can see no end to it. And the trouble is there is no alternative but to keep going. (I seriously considered the alternative a couple of years ago and believe me that is just a worse type of hell). Every day I dream that I will have a end to my severe financial difficulties and every day just gets a little worse.

Is it wrong to pray for help with money? I know it is, everything I learnt in church as a child and later as an adult tells me it is but where else can you ask for help when all the alternatives are used up. Guess I am going to hell in a debtors coffin? Guess my soul is becoming bankrupt?

Monday 5th

On this day in 137 Edward III became King of England at just aged 14. He reigned for 50 years.

A rumour without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.

Isn't that what popular newspapers are all about???

Postcard Fiction

JC and I met up today - the first time in ages and went to the pub. It was nice just to talk, be a bit bitchy and write some fiction. I had set up a little exercise in Postcard fiction and here is one of my attempts. Hopefully JC will post hers later today so check this link http://curiouslyspeaking.blogspot.com/ for something a little more intellectual. This little postcard fiction was based on the idea of loss and particularly loss around a baby. Approximately 5 - 10 minutes of writing (in the pub) and a lot of fun. Good to get the creativity moving again.

Matinee Jackets

Maureen packed the hand knitted matinee jackets and cardigans into the zip up case, ready to stow under her bed. The pretty pale greens, yellow and white glowed through the transparent container. Each one carefully layered with a moth repellent sheet.

She zipped it up carefully, pushed it neatly under her bed before sitting down, her hands neatly placed on her lap. It saddened her that she would never she her granddaughter; she would never give these lovingly knitted clothes.

Maureen stood up 'there's plenty of housework to be done. I will never forgive my daughter for saying his mother will be a better grandmother. Never. Oh well it's there loss.' she said out loud.


Going to put the other one on CherryPicker so check out if you can http://cherrypickerposse.blogspot.com/

My Daily Updated

Just my normal quotes and interesting (maybe) facts.

On 22nd January 1984 the Apple Macintosh computer was officially introduced.

I think this is considered the start of computers and certainly 'Windows/Icon' based computing as we know it.

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.

Umm, I think I can be guilty of this one, but it is also not so easy to resign if it is in your nature.

January 23 Arthur Guiness the founder of the Irish Guiness brewing dynasty died.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

Probably true but I don't think I particularly miss my youth, just perhaps the energy, naivety and time it gave me.

More to follow today: I have been writing - sort of!!!

Blogging 2

I am not sure how many people are reading my blog - I suspect mainly my mates and the wonderful man from USA but I felt I needed to explain why I have been blogging the facts and quotes. I am sure some of you are finding them tedious and cliche (I agree they may be) but I need to blog them. You see with out them I would just stop blogging. Every so often one of them prompts me to write something, brings back a memory and I hope is more interesting.

At the moment I am really struggling to find time to write. And it is pissing me off. I have basically cut my work to two days a week and was really hoping that during school hours I would have time to write. I desperately want to write. So why aren't I?

It is the age of problem of time, or maybe the age old problem of not being able to say no. I have been working just about full time up to Christmas and didn't see much of my friends and elderly relatives. Well now that I have more time they want to see me. And for this I am really grateful. My friends and family are really important to me. In fact the year before last my friends and family kept me alive. Now I know that sounds dramatic but it is true. When I was ill it was only them that kept me going and helped me see value in myself and understand that I am loved.

I am lucky to be loved - I thank god every day for family and friends because with out them what would life be.

But I wish I could find time to write, be creative because I feel I have so much to say and really really want to say. I want to write stories, I want to entertain people with my work, I want to shock and pain, and make my readers cry. I want them to read my work and feel. So how the heck to I make this happen?

Answers in the comment box please!!!

PS - why I am so bloody tired all the time (TATT)?

Blogging

On this day in 1649 Charles I of England went on trial for treason and other 'high crimes'.

I am sure I saw something about this on TV, one of those sort of history dramas - I think it was mainly political and all to do with the responsibility of being King - a bit King Lear but probably mainly political!

On this day in 1643 Tonga was discovered by Dutch explorer, Abel Tasman.

The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.

Maybe not so easy sometimes secrets just burn away until you just need to get it off your chest. Or is this just me, or maybe it is a female thing. I know I think sometimes proper secrets keep coming back to haunt and can be difficult to deal with.

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

I used to think this is true but really it is only when you are young that you can get away with things and not feel the guilt and pain (see above) and as someone who has tried to kinda rekindle that youth I realise you just seem stupid and immature doing somethings when older.

Tuesday

Austrian born actress and inventor Hedy Lamar died today in 2000.

I wonder what she invented - maybe worth an investigation. I think my dad used to talk about Hedy Lamar so guess she must have been a bit of a looker.

If you add to the truth, you subtract from it.

Is this not what fiction is all about - I think my fiction definitely adds (or I hope adds) to the truth. The best stories come about by adding to the truth.

And to Monday

This day in 1892 American comedian and film actor Oliver Hardy was born.

I will always remember the piano scene and how much it made me laugh. Even thinking about it now is making me smile.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Trouble is I feel that the speed of my life is being increased and I don't have any control over it. I am running quicker and harder and just can't keep up. Is this my age or just modern life?

A most peculiar dream

I had this dream a couple of nights ago and just can't make 'head nor tails' of it. Any ideas greatly appreciated?

I called it Ear Wax

I had this dream the other night.

It was strange.

I kept rubbing my ears because they felt odd. My hearing was muffled, like listening through water.

And as time went on (and in a dream time is always unreal and often controlled by the dreamer, often controlled by me) my world was becoming quieter and more distant and my ears were itching. So I began poking around in them and bringing out little balls of green grey ear wax. Each little piece rubbed between my fingers into squishy balls that left my ears feeling clearer but still muffled and slightly sore.

Eventually I just wanted to free my ears from their congestion and to hear fully again.

So I lay down on the settee on my side with my left ear exposed and really went for it. I raised my index finger on my left hand and dived into my ear. It went into my ear, initially exploring the outer cavity, peeling away the little wax balls but then delving deeper, my finger pushing through the flesh of my ear canal. The flesh began to separate and my finger squashed through into the inner ear. It felt like pushing through soft meat or warm plasticine or warm wax.

My finger went deeper and deeper until it nearly reached up to my knuckle. And just when I thought I couldn’t reach any further I felt something semi-solid, something slightly firmer just touching the end. I tried to press a little harder and just get a grip on what I could feel. Just delving a tad deeper to get a hold.

And suddenly I felt the object stick to my fingertip. I began to slowly extract my finger, keeping it as still as possible, hoping that the object would stay clinging to my fingertip and come out of my ear.

And it did.

Slowly and carefully it slid out of my ear canal and finally popped into my outer ear, filling it so much that momentarily it hurt, stretching my outer ear cone to extremes.

As the blockage was picked out of my ear the sound became suddenly loud and I was relieved to have removed the muffling.

I picked out the object and immediately felt the shape of it. It was square and about 3 mm thick, square or rather oblong – a strange rubbery rectangle. I took it out of my ear and placed it on the palm of my hand. It was bout 50mm long and 35mm wide.

It was strange. The top side felt slightly un-straight, definitely not parallel with the bottom being lower on the left side and slightly higher on the right.

But the oddest ting of all was the fact that it was a deep midnight blue. There was nothing pastel or uneven about the colour, it was strong, intense, complete. A slightly off kilt, midnight blue rectangle that has come out of my ear. It shone like wax or soap or even waxy soap and still felt warm but was cooling rapidly in my palm.

I remember that I wasn’t surprised or worried, just amazed and interested.

Why did I not question a midnight blue waxy block in my ear?

And what is the significance if there is any, or if you believe in dream interpretation of a dream like this?

Today and Yesterday

In 2005 Adriana Lliescu became the oldest woman in the world to give birth.

I always had doubts about this. I wonder how the child will feel when it reaches teenage years. My best friend at school had very elderly parents - her father had already reached retirement age when we were at High School. She was very loved and had a lovely family but she was always very old for her age. She married a man 22 years older and I always wondered if this was because she had grown up with older parents. They are still married and have brought up two children and appear happy so I guess it doesn't matter but I always expected her to want to be young - rebel into her second childhood. Mind you I have had a second childhood that has lasted nearly 20 years and my parents were not particularly old.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.

I think I am guilty of this sometimes although I try not to be. Trouble is I love a bit of gossip. I say I am inquisitive and always looking for materials for writing but really I am just 'a nosey cow!'

The 15th

In 1973 Ireland joined the European Investment bank.

Not sure I knew what the European Investment bank is so looked on Google:


Organisation structure at the EIB
The EIB funds its operations by borrowing on the capital markets rather than drawing on the EU budget. The Bank enjoys decision-making independence within the EU’s institutional system.
The EIB’s management and control structures reflect this independence and allow it to take lending decisions solely on the basis of a project’s merits, and tailor borrowing in line with the best opportunities available on the financial markets.

I'm none the wiser - how about you?

When the horse is dead, get off.

Personally I would rather try and give it a humane goodbye and a decent burial. I hoped I would have got off long before it died.

Too tired

I have to admit I am really just too tired to blog today. I have just read a couple of the blogs that I enjoy and they are all reflecting how I feel. I wish I had something useful and helpful to say to JC and encouraging to say to Luna and well just clever to say to Glroz. But hey, as per normal I just don't.

Humphrey Bogart, the wonderful American film actor, died today in 1957.

Not much to say on this but I so remember African Queen when I was a kid and only watched Casablanca in the last 3 or 4 years. I always thought, well sorry, that he kinda mumbled abit, but I guess that was his charm.

Map out your future, but do it in pencil.

I could never read maps or draw maps come to think of it - guess that explains much.

Is this a thing about 13th's

In 2001 San Salvador, the capital of El Salvador was devastated by a huge earthquake.

Today the people of Haiti suffered the same fate - is this something about the 13th. Whatever my thoughts are with those who have lost much in the earthquake.

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

It has never stopped the politicians and those of us who continue to blindly vote believing in 'our Western democracy.'

Bob Poems

Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while will know I like to write my Bob poems. They kinda come to me and I hope they make you laugh, or smile or maybe occasionally have a little bit of a point. I have written these three in the last couple of days. They make me wonder if I am questioning the validity of blogging or whether they just are a bit of fun.

I would love to know what people think. Which one (if any ) do you think works? Is one better than the others?

Blogging Bob

Bob says 'Don't disturb me, I'm typing my blog'.
'Why Bob?'
'I like to tell people things'.
'Bob do you have many followers?'
'Oh yes, my mother.'


Bob's Blog (1)

tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, space.
'What ya doin' Bob?'
tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, return.
Bob says 'I'm writing my blog.'
'Why Bob?'
'Because the world needs to know how to defecate.'


Bob's Blog (2)

tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, space,
'What ya doin' Bob?'
tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, return
Bob says 'I'm writing my blog.'
'Why Bob?'
'Because my followers need to know.'


Just let me know - please...


Dix

Interesting

1729 - the birth of Anglo-Irish statesman and philosopher, Edmund Burke.

I didn't have a clue who this was but looked it up on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edmund_Burke - sorry but its the easiest. He sounds an interesting person and another good one for QI.

Know your limits ... but never stop trying to exceed them.

My answer to this, much easier said than done. I think as you get older your limits come screaming constantly making their presence know - or it that just me!!!

Dix

11th again

Today has been one of those days when I have spent my whole time running around after others. I had a lovely long walk on the beach with the dog and then took a relative shopping and then had to do stuff at home, boy had a visitor and then I went to darts.

Trouble is yesterday was a good day for me creatively, I wrote and posted a story on http://cherrypickerposse.blogspot.com/ that I was quite pleased with.It needs editing and a some more work to get the structure right but for a night in front of the TV, watching the darts final - it ain't too bad.

But today no writing, no reading, not even any thinking about being creative. And that is bad. I just want this year to be creative. I want the time and most of all the head space to be able to write, to be creative, to feel fulfilled.

It is late now, too late to be thinking about editing or creating so for today I will have to just accept I couldn't creative anything (apart from this blog) and put little in my writing diary, (only this blog) and move on. Hey tomorrow is definitely another day.

Dix

Monday 11th

On this day in 1972 East Pakistan became the independent nation-state of Bangladesh. I would have thought this happened long before the 70's. It is strange how somethings seemed to have happened a long time ago and others feel like just yesterday.

Success is 10% inspiration, 90% last minute changes. And what happened to luck. I think luck is probably the vital ingredient.

For the weekend

In 1999 a large piece of Beachy Head fell into the sea.

I have always wanted to visit Beachy Head. Strangely I have visited most places on the South coast but never the White Cliffs of Dover or Beachy Head. It can be on my bucket list.
I think I remember this news and the concern it caused at the time - all part of the great scheme of global warming. My friend H has visited Beachy Head and says it has a calm, quiet almost eerie air about it but I that could just be the visitor being aware of the poor souls who have thrown themselves off.

Life's problems wouldn't be called 'hurdles' if there weren't a way to get over them.

I know, I know but could the hurdle be just a little be lower in 2010 because as I get older the jump is just getting too hard.

Mog

Bob Sleeps

"Why are you falling asleep Bob?"
Bob says "Huh",
"Bob please wake up".
"I'm tired and your boring. Go away".
Bob sleeps.

by Dix

Who agrees with this?

I found this quote in my January 2010 edition of Writers' News.

'I dislike having things "flagged up" for me and I don't like feel inclined to "get up to speed", "think outside the box" , "climb aboard" , "have a thought shower" and "find a window in my diary". I don't want to "touch base" , "run it up my flagpole" , "square the circle" or engage in "blue sky thinking". I do not like "no-brainers" and "bullet points" and I don't want to "chill out".
'There are ample words in the English language to express one's feelings clearly and accurately without resorting to this gobbledegook'.
Gervase Phinn

I know exactly what he is saying and in many ways totally agree but I also think some of these saying are part of how language evolves and changes and although they are cliche maybe some will end up part of our speech in say one hundred years. Certainly it feels like the express 'chill out' has been about for some time although it is one that people have said to me often and absolutely drives me mad - in fact it makes me do absolutely anything but 'chill out'!

Friday Friday Comments

Apparently it was in 1297 that the Principality of Monaco gained it independence. I found it surprising that it was that long ago. It makes me wonder about how Monaco managed during both World Wars and other world events.

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it

Yeah right no s**t Sherlock!!!

And to Thursday 7th

In 1927 Basketball superstars, The Harlem Globetrotters played their first game.

This one brings back memories as I once went on a school trip to see the Harlem Globetrotters at Wembley Arena. In fact, apart from a very boring and sick making trip to our local sugar processing factory - this is the only school trip I ever went on. I really like basketball at school and I wasn't too bad at it. It was one game where I was not one of the last to be picked and I was quick and tidy on the court. Not the best at shooting the hoop! as I was always a bit under tall (now only 5 foot 2 3/4 inches) but I could get it forward and somebody else could always score.

It was the only sport I really enjoyed at school mainly because the horrid girls, the thick legs country girls, the bullies - couldn't give me a hard time over it. Anyway I digress, the trip was good, I went with my mate Angela and the boys PE teacher (who was also my RE teacher) and with whom I was madly in love. My first proper crush. It didn't matter he had a wife who taught Sewing or that he was Welsh. I actually found a photograph of him that I managed to sneak on that trip and he now reminds me of a 70's porn star with a proper curled down bushy moustache and sort of crimpoline beige trouser but hey it was in fashion at the time. I remembered he drove and really cool car - a red sports saloon and seemed much cooler than our other teachers.

Anyway the Harlem Globetrotters were just proper amazing - what they could do with that ball and the show was really entertaining. They were also so very tall. I remember having a good time and thinking it would be great to see them play (or perform) again. I never have - Yet.

Anyway the coach trip back was typical of my school, the cool kids on the back appeared to be a bit drunk, the popular girls sat on the back seats with the popular boys and one couple appeared to be actually having sex. I was so embarrassed (I was only 13 and not really ready to understand it all yet). I think me and my mate just tried to ignore the giggling, the groping sounds and general sex sounds and tried not to choke as the coach filled up with Embassy No 6 (green and blue packet) smoke.

I saw the guy who had sex at the back of the bus not long ago - his name was Richard ? and he looks really old now. God know what has happened to the girl, can't even remember her name. Guess she didn't end up as his wife!!!!

It's funny what things jolts our memories. Anyone else got strange memory connections?

And the quote for today

Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.

Maybe sometimes its the landing gear that pulls us back to earth so quickly that we crash away our dreams.

Ummmmm

52 Books for 2010

52 Books for 2010

Thought you might find this interesting - I think it would be nice to just have the time to read a couple of them.

Driving and the Ice

I have always loved driving - almost from when I first passed my driving test (30 years ago now) I enjoy driving and will often find excuses to go out for a little drive. (This has ceased a little with the price of fuel). As I get older I find it harder to do very long drives, if I have to drive somewhere further away than about 3 or 4 hours I prefer to share the driving but I think this is just concentrating for so long and of course visiting when you get there. And the fact that every where is at least 3 or 4 hours away from Norfolk.

But this morning I really did not want to drive. It was very icy outside this morning, not snowing at all but just slippery under foot and as I have already fell over a couple of times in a the last couple of weeks I think it has slightly unnerved me.

But this morning I really did not want to drive. I haven't really used the car much over the last week or so which has not helped and just the whole rigmarole of having to de-ice the car, keep it clear and the perpetual problem of trying to keep the screen clean when my washers are frozen up. I was really nervous about my 25 mile drive to work and felt very tense about slipping or sliding all over the place. Once I got going I found myself holding on to the steering wheel really tightly and giving myself hand ache.

In the end it was a fairly uneventful trip. Lots of traffic going slowly but on the whole driving carefully. But by the time I got to work I felt worn out. Not a good start to a busy active day.

And then I had to be at work, looking out of the window seeing the snow come down rapidly and wondering if the journey home was going to be just as stressful. In any event it was a quiet and not too busy trip home but I was glad to be parked up and home.

Wed 6th

The legendary Russain ballet dancer, Rudolf Nureyev died this day in 1993.

And the inspiring quote for today is Goals are dreams with deadlines. Not sure I totally agree with this but hey it's our quote for today. I hope my dreams don't have any deadlines or I could be in big trouble.

New Year mean dieting again!

My life has changed drastically over the last few months. I am again the parent of a youngster. We are fostering an 11 year old boy - he is a distant relative and he has certainly brought new life to our home. I shall call him 'Boy' (sorry stolen from http://rhhblackthorn.blogspot.com/ but it works very well. I shall only be working a couple of days a week initially - it may end up only being one and looking around for school work or relief hours but I have decided with a little more free time (at least during the school day) that I will be spending more time writing.

I should of course be doing it now - but hey isn't this writing? Since Christmas I have been filling in a writing diary and trying to write something, however small, every day. I have just about managed it.

Being a foster parent is scary and wonderful. Both myself and Him wonder if we are up to the task, being a parent is the only thing you are never truely prepared for and never really know what you are doing. I have 2 grown up girls who are doing ok but I am often deeply aware of the mistakes I made whilst they were young. So why are we doing this again?

Because it feels right, he is a lovely lad who just needs someone to love him, care for him and guide him through life to allow him to be whatever he wants. Not an easy task but one I hope we are up to - well some of the time anyway.

So 2010 starts with new life, new family, new writing. Unfortunately it also starts with the same old bills, same old money worries but hey, who cares when I can walk on the beach every day, breathe the sea air and spend time with my family and animals.

I want 2010 to be the year I spend time with family and friends, understand about love and being loved and look on the bright side of life.

What more can I ask? Watch this space!

A little bit of information for the 5th

In 1933 construction began on San Franciso's Golden Gate Bridge.

You never know when you might need this today!

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

(JC and I should take this one on board, this year we are gonna building a bloody great door!)

Quotes and Facts and Info

I found out who Cicero was - this is the entry in Encyclopedia Britannica

English byname Tully
born 106 bc, Arpinum, Latium [now Arpino, Italy] died Dec. 7, 43 bc, Formiae, Latium [now Formia]
Roman statesman, lawyer, scholar, and writer who vainly tried to uphold republican principles in the final civil wars that destroyed the republic of Rome. His writings include books of rhetoric, orations, philosophical and political treatises, and letters. He is remembered in modern times as the greatest Roman orator and innovator of what became known as Ciceronian rhetoric.

So I have learnt a little something today - could come in useful when watching QI?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday 4th January in 1643 Sir Isaac Newton - mathematician and physicist - was born.

More help knowledge for TV quiz shows or maybe for writing research and our lovely saying to make you feel better today is:

Shared joy is a double joy: shared sorrow is half a sorrow.

I think sometimes this is true - certainly the joy bit but sometimes pain and sorrow just goes so deep that telling everyone does not help - well it just makes them sick of hearing about it.

Oh dear.

Dix

My Liverpudlian Dream

I had this dream a couple of days ago and wrote it down. I am not at all sure what it means and would love some feedback. Is it just a story? Is it about creativity? Or is it about sex? (I know JC will think it is but hey maybe, maybe not).

I met a man who was from Liverpool, he lived in a house above an interesting looking shop or warehouse. He lived on the second and third floor and his lounge looked over an amazing square that was cobbled and had just a few people walking on it and the fronts of interesting shops and a pub with a swinging pub sign.

His flat/house had a long corridor from the front door (up a narrow long flight of stairs that was dark) apart from one very small oblong window right near the top. The window was high up near the ceiling.

In my dream I wondered why was I going into a strange house with a man I didn't know? These are questions that are nevered answered in a dream.

The man is dark haired with blue eyes and a pretty average face - a little Fred Flintstone looking if you know what I mean but he did have a friendly face. A kinda square and friendly face and he was definitely a Liverpudlian although I don't know if we were in Liverpool.

I can't remember the specific conversations we had but I know we talked about art and writing and being creative. I asked him lots of questions especially about the amazing art that covered his living room. I knew it was modern and bright and colourful and I really like it. In my memory it was like a 'Hockney swimming pool' but I can't remember the exact details. The whole room felt creative, he felt like a creative person but I don't remember what he said. Maybe he was a teacher - I'm not sure.

But what I do remember is that he told me to keep writing, to believe in my writing. He also told me I can paint if I want to. I just need to paint what I see and to keep trying until I am happy with my work.

When I woke up all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and return to the dream. It was a nice dream. It felt good.

Quote and Fact for Sunday 3rd

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

106BC - The birth of Roman statesman and philosopher, Cicero.

Wish I knew who this was - time to Google, I think.

Fact and thought for the Day

Like many people I have a new calender which imparts daily (or almost the weekend is one sheet) facts and sayings. Thought I would share them with you.

Joy (but fun?)

FACT - In 1985 Veteran comedian, Ernie Wise, made Britain's first mobile phone call. ( I wonder why it was him, there is definately further information needed here)

QUOTE - (and I like this one) Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. (Easier said than done I think)

My New Years Eve

No one was at fault but my New Year's Eve was awful - a total disaster. Probably the worst one I ever had. We had been invited to my sister in laws house and our best mates for a party and we normally go down our local pub. But this year we have 'Boy' so we decided to chose a place we could all go.
Unfortunately 'my other half' was what we call 'sick and bad' all day so I ended up going nowhere. He went to bed and I stayed up with 'Boy' until he went to bed and then I curled up on the settee watching 'Love Actually' again, eating from a huge box of chocolates and drinking a far too strong Pernod. My mobiles recieved loads of messages from people wishing me Happy New Year.

And I wanted to cry - I wanted to cry for missing out on my family and mates down the pub, for getting drunk (which I don't do often - yeah you cry but it is true) and laughing and singing and being happy stupid and kissing people at midnight and not caring about any of it.
In fact I didn't need to sit on the settee wallowing because I could have called up the stairs to let 'him' know I was going out and driven down the pub to have a good time. I could have stayed sober and had a good time.
It would have been fun.

My lesson learnt - stop being sorry for myself and take action - I didn't need to sit feeling lonely and unhappy as my mates would have been pleased to see me - I need to understand that I am loved as I love others (in a friendship sort of way of course) - I will be always be happier regreting what I did than regretting not doing it (if you see what I mean).

The only good think about the evening was I got to text with JC about how creative we are going to be next year (us and Luna). Proper plans being made for writing and blogging and putting work out there.

Watch this space.