Miss J's Day

Miss J wakes up to a bright and cheery morning. She jumps out of bed and jumps to the bathroom, because she can.
Miss J peered into the bathroom mirror and said ‘I look lovely today.’
Miss J chooses her favourite outfit, a bright red jumpsuit with a huge yellow belt that pulls in her narrow waist.
Miss J brushes over her unruly hair quickly and gathers it into a tatty red ruffle by wrapping it around and around. It holds the bulk of her hair like a hairy pineapple.
Miss J leaves the house humming and walks down her street, skipping across the road to the market.
Miss J is the first customer at Mr Borges Fresh Fruit and Veggie stall and begins to select the cleanest and freshest items. She picks up green apples and red apples. She plucks a juicy grape from its bunch and pops it into her mouth. She sucks the tough skin from the sweet interior, her mouth squeezing it all into a pulp before swallowing all the remains.
Miss J says ‘I like fruit’ to nobody. She likes the colours and textures of the market stall– the variety of fruits and vegetables. Sometimes she buys something new and interesting, exotic items that grab her attention. Today she buys three green apples, four small bananas and a bunch of red seedless grapes.
Miss J loves fruit and eats them to keep her healthy and alive. Her visit to the market keeps her alive.
Miss J skips home, catching her foot on the edge of a paving stone. She looks back quickly and says ‘Nobody saw. Nobody thinks I’m stupid.’
Miss J returns home and opens her front door. She has forgotten to lock it.
Miss J looks around her room and says. ‘Nobody’s been here. Nobody’s home’.
Miss J sits at her kitchen table and carefully eats one green apple, peeling the skin into one straggling piece. She cuts it into eight segments and carefully chews each piece before popping in the core, to chew and swallow quickly.
Miss J peels a small banana, biting at it violently until only the end stub remains.
Miss J says. ‘I’ll enjoy a few grapes, before bedtime. They’ll keep the hunger at bay’.

Miss J
‘I look lovely today.’
‘I like fruit’
‘Nobody saw.
Nobody thinks I’m stupid.’
‘Nobody’s been here.
Nobody’s home’.
‘I’ll enjoy a few grapes, before bedtime.
They’ll keep the hunger at bay’.

Yesterday I went to buy a computer

Yesterday I went to buy a computer. This I thought, should be a relatively easy thing to do, even in my small coastal town. My plan, to visit the three or four places where I might chose from a reasonable selection, chose the one I liked the best within my price range, buy and take it home. Easy peasy! In this time of recession, surely these shops would be happy to do business, they would be falling over themselves to sell me a laptop and take my money - take my cash and add another sale to their figures. But no - how silly of me to be optimistic and think that the customer matters - that sales need to be made.

Shop number 1 - Staples - quite a good selection, a few within my price range, not sure about the returns policy if I have any problems but a possibility nevertheless. Problem- the sales assistants are all 12, standing at the counter, chewing large pieces of gum and talking to their mates, also chewing large pieces of gum, about going out and other mates. They did stare at me a couple of times in that 'what are you doing in my shop, trying to get attention, wasting my time, thinking you are going to buy something' kinda way.

I decided I wasn't in the mood for teenage interaction and thought this is OK because it is the first shop and I should do better elsewhere.

Shop number 2 - Bennetts - a smallish selection in my price range but two I was really interested in. Managed to get the shop assistants attention, although he insisted on taking obviously very important pieces of paper out the back first, before he served me but he did come back. A very, very large man, who kinda rumbled around puffing. How dare I make him move around by asking questions? How dare I make him breath?
Anyway chose notebook, nice model had what I wanted within my price bracket. Hurray, purchase and go. But no, no, no. They don't actually have that model in stock, in fact, they don't really have any of the models in stock, been a big rush on computers in the area!, I can order it and it may arrive next week. When I point out that maybe they should not be displaying items they haven't got to sell, I am told in a very 'you stupid woman' sort of way, that if they didn't display models that they didn't stock then there would be nothing on the display - huh! am I the only one who doesn't see the logic in this. I point out that I might as well buy one online than order and wait for a possibility with them and leave pointing out that I will try their major competitor. By this time I am becoming peeved - he doesn't really care though - just goes back behind the counter where he doesn't have to walk or breath.

Shop number 3 - Currys - a nice selection and three I can chose from. I chose the Dell as this was what I intended in the first place. The assistant is helpful, I do vaguely know him, and when he checks availability there are plenty and most of all there is a pink one. I really wanted a pink one, so decided hey, I am going to get the notebook I wanted, in price range. It is located in the stock room, eventually, the chap is on lunch - half past four, but hey he works until 8 - and brought down. No deal to be done but I think it is exactly what I want so go with it. I did notice the seal was open but thought hey, maybe the guy was just checking the colour.
I buy it and take it home, full of smug happiness at getting exactly what I wanted.

But no, no, no.

I turn it on and get this strange Currys screen saver that just goes around and around with a password to exit. No password available and only advice on password is that you need to read the readme.txt on CD. Only problem this machine has no CD drive. Ho, hum. So I mess about a while thinking I can guess password, which of course, I can't. Then I think ring the store, no probs. So I ring the number on the receipt where eventually, after pressing 1 and 2, and 1 and 2 etc, etc, I speak to a nice, a helpful tech guy who tells me that my notebook is actually a used one, has been on display and only the store can remove the Currys screen saver. By this time my blood is starting to boil. But he says, ring again and get put through to the store and they will sort it out. So I ring again, lots of 1 and 2, 1 and 2, etc, etc before I speak to a lady with only a basic grasp of English who tells me I can't speak to my local store - why? - but that the store code with get rid of the screen saver - it doesn't and I have to tell her a few times, it doesn't. OK then I will have to take it back - so I say fair enough - can I speak to the store to arrange to have another put aside - no I can't speak to the store but she will. She goes back and forth and eventually tells me they have no more - even though I saw at least 15 on the computer in stock, and that I can have my money back.

After tea I drive back to the store, get my money back, moan about service, moan about being sold a used notebook, moan about not being able to speak to local store, and then they tell me may take up to 2 days to refund - what!!!! and drive home again. No computer - and possibly no money until after the weekend.

Eat chocolate muffins and drink alcohol.