Before I post up my facts and quotes I just wanted to say 'how the hell did we get to the end of January already'. I can truly say it has not been a great month for me - in fact it is pretty awful. And I think things are only going to get worse but I am sure there will be an end to it all - somehow. At the moment I bounce between worse possible scenario eg losing home and just about everything (which ain't such a lot) and then bouncing back to hoping that we can be saved somehow and hold on to our home. Of course I know that in this country being a white, British working person (apart from an MP who claim anything, get caught, appeal and it is all OK again!) isn't such a good thing in terms of being helped (and I am sorry if that is prejudice and ignorant but hey that is how it feels) but I just hope we can be astute enough to understand and play the system and hope we come out the other end relatively unscathed. At this moment I think the odds of this happening are pretty low.
I realise that a lot of this is our fault, (although I am in the terrible position of not actually knowing the debt my husband was running up). Well I knew some of it but not the terrible truth. But the truth is if the recession and constant stream of cheap immigrant labour hadn't happened we would have been able to pay our bills. And then of course my husband's health has failed and hey, well basically we're screwed. But I guess we are what the Victorians would have called feckless, and useless and destined for the workhouse - not sure what 21st century workhouse equivalent is but think I am going to find out.
Anyway sorry but I think today I just needed to rant. I guess I can't really talk to anyone how I feel about it. I am angry and frightened and I feel stupid and I guilty - like I deserve this and I can't talk to 'him' as he just wont dealt with it or talk about it. I am not sure where this leads us but not in a good place I guess. So my blog gets it -warts and all.
****************************************
On the 30th January 1965 former Prime Minister and World Leader, Sir Winston Churchill, was given a state funeral.
I think I vaguely remember this - it was a big deal on the TV and I remember sitting and watching bits with my family. I would have been nearly 4 years old so I guess it could be a real memory.
He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has.
God I hope this is true although I don't feel very 'rich' of soul at the moment.
3 comments:
I know this feeling well. It just feels like you've failed in a major way. In the end there are a lot of factors that have put you in the situation you are in at the moment, some of them are your responsibility and some are not. You have to take responsibility for what went wrong that was your fault but realize that it is not entirely on your shoulders.
I know that when it all hit the fan for me I wanted to curl up and die but action is the only way to change your situation. You have to look at all your options and choose one. They may not be great options but waiting won't bring any better ones and will most likely make your situation worse.
Once you take control you'll feel a bit better. I'm not saying everything will be great because it won't but at least you'll feel in control.
I feel like I've been a bit harsh and if I have I'm sorry. I feel terrible that you have to deal with this and hope you can work something out. I am always around if you want a chat or just to vent.
x
P.S.
You may not be rich in monetary terms but you are rich in friends. Use them! They are there for you just as you are for them.
I am always here (in a non stalker sense!)
January did just vanish,,,I feel very nervous about our near future. People have though that I was a raving lunatic about how "our" government has been leading us down a rocky path.. oh well,, I dont need to compalin at you. You seem to "get it".. lol.. Let's keep on kicking.. thnx glenn
Post a Comment