Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while will know I like to write my Bob poems. They kinda come to me and I hope they make you laugh, or smile or maybe occasionally have a little bit of a point. I have written these three in the last couple of days. They make me wonder if I am questioning the validity of blogging or whether they just are a bit of fun.
I would love to know what people think. Which one (if any ) do you think works? Is one better than the others?
Blogging Bob
Bob says 'Don't disturb me, I'm typing my blog'.
'Why Bob?'
'I like to tell people things'.
'Bob do you have many followers?'
'Oh yes, my mother.'
Bob's Blog (1)
tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, space.
'What ya doin' Bob?'
tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, return.
Bob says 'I'm writing my blog.'
'Why Bob?'
'Because the world needs to know how to defecate.'
Bob's Blog (2)
tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, space,
'What ya doin' Bob?'
tap, tap, tap,
tap, tap, return
Bob says 'I'm writing my blog.'
'Why Bob?'
'Because my followers need to know.'
Just let me know - please...
Dix
6 comments:
hello, let me introduce myself. I am Bob(like). All three, to me, are equally funny and pointed.
I agree - all three work.
I like Bob - it's very blunt.
Who is the person who always asks Bob such ridiculously obvious questions? Bob know's they are ridiculous - he sometimes even points this out - round about. 'Fuck Off'
Half the time he seems sincere, tired, but sometimes there is a huge aciddy stench of sarcasm. One day Bob is going to explode. When I was in about year 2 at school, there was a computer, a BBC, in the school. You know the kind with the flashing blue / green screen which hurt your eyes if you looked at it too long? Well anyway, there wasn't much anybody could actually do with the computer, but one day they put this crappy program on it. I think it was called 'POD'. You had to type in 'verbs'and put them in the sentence 'Pod can ____' If Pod could do it, there would be an animation of him 'doing' the whatever it was we'd typed and it would flash the words 'Pod can ---whatever----' If he couldn't do it, it would make a sad noise and flash Pod can't --whatever--' and maybe pod would shake his head. As children, even at about 6, you would try the most obscure things - like they'd show you Pod shitting or pissing. hehe
Pod can explode.
That was the most entertaining.
Pod can cry.
Was also funny.
Pod reminds me a bib of Bob and I can see him exploding one day:
"Scratch scratch scratch
sigh.
Scratch scratch scratch...
Bob, what are you doing?
FOR FUCK-SAKE YOU LITTLE PRICK!
WHY DO YOU CARE?
I'M LAYING ON THE SOFA SCRATCHING MY SWEATY NUTS.
'Oh'
Sigh.
Scratch Scratch scratch
Bob is always great. I think these work really well. I can see the bob poems in a little book with little cartoons. It would sell really well.
glnroz, Luna and JC - thank you so much for your positive comments. I must admit I love writing the little Bob's. They are a way of venting. I have some that are probably too 'politically incorrect' to publish - they certainly illuminate my 'inner anger'.
Luna I know the program you are talking about - my children used it in primary and I used to go in and help with computer stuff. What a great poem or story. Haven't we all tried to do something devious with this type of thing, who hasn't got a new dictionary and looked up all the swear words they can think of?
Maybe something you could do for CP?
JC - I so wish I could draw (but hey you can). How about a joint project - I could give you all the Bob's and see what you come up with. My vision is of very simplistic drawings, maybe b/w or with just a smattering of colour. We could put a manuscript together and see if someone is interested . There isn't much comedy poetry out there and in these gloomy times, you never know someone might take them on. What do you think?
Thanks for the reading and your encouraging comments.
Mog
I completely agree with J.C
I have ALWAYS seen Bob as a little book of comedy poems - something in the vain of the Bunny Suicides?
That's exactly what i was thinking - Bunny Suicides
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