Marky drives his blood red
street racer down
Consequence Avenue.
His boom base boot
beats loudly as
the body shell vibrates
in bang bang tones.
He races up to
a huddled group of
shopping bag ladies who
tut tut tut
with shaking heads in
nod nod nodding
time to the beat.
M☻g
I've had a re-write on this - just to try and give it more rhythm (or something). Don't know, think it works better. What do you think?
2 comments:
Yes I prefer this one. It seems to progress to the beat of the heavy bass that is no doubt deafening those around Marky.
i liked the first one.. I too like this one,,, it has the rhythum you were talking about.
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