We stare at each other
In total eye contact
Absorbed in the stare that is
Primitive,
Challenging,
Uncomfortable.
Bodies parallel in drama
Our hands high five frozen
In a single slap
Our bodies stretched out that is
Threatening
Intimidating
Tense.
The music pulsates us
To the next move
Where both hand held tight
Defying the sound
To step away, staring
Eye to eye that is
Defiant
Uneasy
Unnerving.
A slight smile flickers on our mouths
Yet our eyes stay focused,
Stay serious, we work, we move
In time to the rhythm of the music, that is
Primal
Bold
Apprehensive.
We circle, faraway and shoulder to shoulder,
An image of menace,
A form of contact,
Locked in combat
Empowering
Engaging
Brave
Physical Theatre.
By
DiH
I would love some feedback on this piece. What does it say to you? What are you thinking?
5 comments:
I like the layout of this. It focusses attention and reminded me of staring, which reinforces the content.
Nice.
the end of a dance, (with a stranger)..
Thanks for your feedback JC and glnroz - and in a way you are both right - it was about staring which made us uncomfortable and a strange kind of dance. At last I am starting to say what I want to in poetry.
I agree the layout works incredibly well - it is almost like the dance in itself - and just from reading that first line, I get a sense of movement & dance.
I also get the feeling of uncertainty at the end of each stanza - the beginning could sound pleasurable, then the feelings that follow just subvert it - they give you the apprehensive feeling - like nervous laughter.
That's what I read from it anyway.
P.S
I think your poetry gets better all the time.
Very interesting picture you've put with that too.
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