I have made a momentous decision and now I am scared to death. I wish I hadn't told anyone my big decision, but I have told my BF and now feel I can't go back. And in reality I don't want to go back I am just not sure how to go forward.
I have decided to try, no I have decided to finish the novel I started as part of my degree.
I enjoyed working on it, I got really good feedback from one tutor (she gave me a mark in the first bracket) and an OK mark from the other tutor (but in reality he didn't really get me or my writing but then he didn't seem to really get anyone elses writing). I know it is a story that 'has legs' as they say, plenty to work on and that the basic story line is well planned already. In fact, it is almost all planned although not down to chapters but the structure is well placed.
So why am I so scared. I guess it is that fear of failure stuff. Can I really do this and even if I have the self discipline to finish the work, will it be any good. I have visions of a million drafts and lots and lots of rejections. But hey, isn't that a writers life. And maybe if I get the bad one out of the way I can move on to something special.
Anyway now I have told more people - I am going to finish my novel.
So I guess there is no backing out now!
2 comments:
Writing is always scary. Letting go and allowing yourself to write the first draft is difficult. You want it to be great but it won't be. First drafts are just that, first drafts. You have to work on what you have until it's right. It doesn't happen straight away and that's what's scary. Allowing yourself to be a bit rubbish in order to get better.
There's no point putting it off as you'll be more disappointed in yourself if you don't do it.
I know I should say this to myself, but as an insightful greetings card told me once:
"Take my advice, I'm not using it"
Woo Hoo! It was a good project.
Good luck honey!
By the way, BF = best friend or Boy friend?
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