Monday, 6 June 2011

Shopping Today



Today I went shopping with an elderly relative. It is not that I mind taking her shopping, in fact I quite enjoy it but it is the hard physical work of pushing a wheelchair around town. Firstly putting it in and out of the car is hard, the boot of my car means that I have to lift it up and over rather than just slide it in. Then unload at the other end. None of the shops are really very wheelchair friendly and usually I have to carry bulky or awkward goods with me.


Then we go for lunch, which is a nice break. Then back to the hard grind of pushing a wheelchair, up and down, in and out before loading it all back into the car and going to the supermarket.


This is when it gets really awful. Usually I have to find a wheelchair or unload it all again. Then use one of those bloody awful wheelchair trolleys that are not big enough, don't fit on the trolley properly and nearly dislocate your back trying to push it around the store. The wheels on the trolley work against the wheels on the wheelchairs, all the goods are either on the top or bottom shelves and nothing is easy. It is really hard to manoeuvre and almost impossible to push around without knocking something down, hitting something or worse, somebody. Then at the tills it is always in the way and difficult to fill because the bags always seem to take up lots more space than the original goods.


So I pack it all back into the car, drive back to hers, unload it all, drive home and collapse.


I am sitting here tonight thinking that I feel like someone has found a tap on the back of me, turned it on and released all the energy I ever had.


There has got to be an easier way.


Dix

Saturday, 4 June 2011

Shutting the Curtains



Now I know during this entry I am probably going to really show my age (and my inbuilt snobbishness) but I can't help it. I realised, reading other's bloggs, that I love the ones that are someone giving an opinion - even if I don't agree. Well here is my opinion on curtain pulling.


You see, I can't understand why people keep their curtains pulled all the time. We have scarce little daylight in the winter so getting any of it through the windows is an absolute bonus and during the summer, especially this year we are having some gorgeous weather and I can't wait to get up in the morning and let in the sunshine. And maybe that is me, my hippyism that enjoys the outdoors and nice weather. I certainly know that sunshine makes me feel so much better and helps my mental health, going outside, walking the dog whatever the weather helps me feel me good.


Anyway, back to the point. I have noticed that with each generation it seems to get worse - that each generation seem to want to spend there whole day with the curtains closed - shut inside a big dark den, burning electricity, watching TV or DVD's or playback on Sky+, playing computer games shut into the big dark den. First is was my own girls, who are both heading towards 30 now, they would never pull their curtains. Their excuse was we live in a bungalow and didn't want anyone 'purving' on them (they meant the guy across the road but that's another story). They have both moved out and into their own homes and still do it. I go to see my eldest daughter, who has this really cool bungalow with wide patio doors in the lounge and windows at the front down a nice long drive and all the curtains are closed. The sunshine is well and truly shut out! My younger daughter lets a bit more sunshine in when we are there. She has the biggest front bay windows on a flat in a Victorian villa, but I know she shuts out the sun loads too.


Now I have boy - he has been away this week, doing activities (and it has been gloriously quiet) but as soon as he came home all the curtains in his rooms were closed - well and truly firmly shut. From the outside it just looks horrible. I go in there and open them but as soon as he goes back in they are shut up tight again. In fact he has requested thicker, darker curtains to keep out the sun- huh!


When you drive around the area, there are a few houses that always have the curtains shut - well I know this is snobby but these are the houses that always have run down paintwork, rusty old bangers in the garden, old bits of furniture and black sacks hanging around and looked generally really unloved. The curtains look so tightly pulled together that it appears they have never been opened and often apart from the permanent rubbish like no one actually lives in there. These are not always young, or youngish people, but they are a type of person. You expect them, if they ever come outside, to be very pale, almost deathly looking, squinting at the sun as it burns there unprotected skin. These houses often have deliveries, like Tesco's and unidentified parcels. Just the door open quickly, a hand comes out, signs if necessary and then back to curtain drawn abyss.


Now, I guess I am old fashioned, but every morning my mum would get up, put the kettle on, let out the dog and pull the curtains. It was about starting the day and letting the daylight in. Even in the winter when it was either grey or still dark, the curtains were pulled and life began. Often with a conversation about what sort of weather we were going to have that day (is that very British or do all nationalities do this). I love to wake up with the daylight. If I get up in the night I will often pull the curtains, especially in the summer, to allow the sun to naturally wake me up. It is wonderful, to hear the birds, to feel the warm of the sunlight oozing through my eyelids and warming my soul.


Do I care if the neighbours are looking in? Not really, there is nothing much to see here, just us getting on with our daily lives and honestly, me with nothing on - not a pleasant sight and not one that anyone would want to experience often. Let them look I say, what have they to gain, but life through someone else. Not for me, although I like a bit of noisy but don't want to be watching others live.


So am I old fashioned. Should I really shut out the world and keep myself hidden behind curtains, not watching the wildlife or experiencing the weather. God I hope not. I hope up until my end of days I have the energy to get up in the morning, put the kettle on, let the dog out and pull the curtains. I do so hope....

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Found writings


I found these next two pieces of work whilst doing some tidying. The first one was written to my cousin who committed suicide last year. I didn't know him well but am so sorry he has gone so soon. The second piece comes from working nights.






Simon




A shining light,


a beacon bright


that fades.




A silent smile.

A wave goodbye,


today.






Brown eyes deep,

that rarely weep


at all.




I wish I knew you better,


I should have took the time,

I should have understood.


What haunted you.


What haunts us all.











Nights



I hear noises that at first just interest me; then become persistently annoying; then worrying. Shadows and light that flicker in the peripherals of my eyes and make me wonder. That reminds me of old friends, long since left who wonder the corridors at night, still searching for the life they never knew.












Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Bob' Poems

Bob Lives Horizontally

Bob said "I want to lie down."
"Are you tired Bob?"
"No" sighs Bob.
"Are you in pain Bob?"
No. I just want to lie down."




Bob Lies Down

Bob lies down
and sleeps.
ZZZZzzzzz.............

Monday, 30 May 2011

Buster



Buster felt lackluster

So he thought he'd watch a blockbuster

about a man called Thruster

who had a knuckleduster.


The main character was a distruster

and a seriel mistruster.


Buster started to get into a fluster

trying to find a duster

or find the knob to adjust'er

the TV readjuster.


Buster couldn't see through the dusty darkness

of the badly filmed blockbuster

so with all the energy he could muster

he turned it off.


And threw it on the composter

(and went to sleep).



Dix



Friday, 27 May 2011

Boomerang Generation



Busty girl leaves home and moves to a


Dusty room in someone else's house. It smells so


Fusty and made her sneeze, the


Musty atmosphere catches her breath.


Gusty winds made the windows rattle,


Rusty radiators that are only ever warm.


Frosty breath follows her like a bloom,


Crusty carpets crackle under foot, so she uses her


Trusty mobile and cries to her mum.


Busty girl goes home.




Dix



This was an exercise to create something from a page of the rhyming dictionary. Fun and interesting - poetry - not sure.



Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Squeak and Bubble


&





Bob said "I want bubble and squeak for tea today."

"But we only have bubble and squeak on Boxing Day?"

Bob though for a while.

"Fuck it, fire up the frying pan woman. It's bubble and squeak for tea."


Dix